What is the secret of a happy marriage

Marriage: That's the secret of a happy relationship

The secret of a happy marriage rests in the hands of women. This is the result of a long-term study by the University of Berkeley. According to this, the most important thing is whether a woman stays calm during discussions - the behavior of the man, on the other hand, hardly plays a role. At least that's what the scientists say.

Couples argue in front of the camera

Lian Bloch's researchers observed 80 married couples between the ages of 50 and 70 years of quarreling for over 13 years. To do this, the couples had to discuss a topic that harbored a lot of potential for conflict. The conversations were recorded by camera. The researchers then evaluated gestures, facial expressions and the emotional and physical reactions of the test subjects. The blood pressure was also checked and how much the participants sweated during the conversation.

The female gender should keep calm

After more than ten years, couples should report how satisfied they are with their marriage. The result: A permanently happy relationship depends above all on how much a woman can keep calm on a conflicted topic and then calm down again. The evaluations show that if the women calmed down very quickly, the married couples were usually happier in both the short and long term.


According to the study, the behavior of the men during and after the discussion had no comparable effect.

The women are responsible for finding solutions

Psychologist and co-author of the study Robert Levenson comes to the conclusion that couples can deal better with conflicts if the female gender addresses the problems and provides a solution.

Recognition is important

But even if the behavior of the woman plays the bigger role: the behavior of the man is certainly not entirely unimportant. The study also shows: Feelings such as anger and contempt are a great burden for a relationship. For a long marriage, in addition to arguing, appreciation is important. So it comes down to small gestures and recognition for the partner's achievements.