We are spoiled by modern special effects

Why are kids bored, spoiled & have no friends?

Translated by Anne Schweda for Deep Roots at Home.

The emotional state of children these days is catastrophic! When they get to school, most of them are emotionally unable to learn anything. Many factors contribute to this that stem from our modern lifestyle. ”~ V.P.

What my friend Victoria Prooday (occupational therapist) experiences in her professional practice is so widespread and alarming that I asked her to share her thoughts on it with others. Since this topic has met with such overwhelming interest and many conversations have resulted from it, I am republishing your article here in a somewhat abbreviated form.

 
I encourage all parents who care about their child's future to read it. I understand that there are many who prefer not to know what Victoria has to say in her article. But it is imperative that you hear this message for the well-being of your children.

Victoria writes:

I am an occupational therapist and can draw on many years of experience working with children, parents and teachers. I totally agree with the message from this teacher that our children are getting worse and worse.

Every teacher I meet tells me the same thing. Again and again. I have to say that in my job as an occupational therapist I have observed and continue to observe the following: The ability to act normally socially, emotionally and on an intellectual level is decreasing among children. Meanwhile, the incidence of learning disabilities and similar diagnoses has risen dramatically. As we know, the brain is adaptable.

We can "strengthen" or "weaken" it through environmental influences. I really believe that (for all the best of intentions) we wrongly affect our children's brains and raise them wrongly.

 

Note from Jackie: Get my printable list of "30 Ways to Support Your Children"!

 

Why do I take this view? For the following reasons:

1. CHILDREN GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT, WHEN YOU WANT IT

“I'm hungry !!” - “Just a second, I'll stop at the drive-in.” “I'm thirsty!” - “There's a machine here.” “I'm bored!” - “Here's my cell phone!” The ability to wait for a reward is the key to future success. We have the best of intentions: We want to make our child happy. But unfortunately we're only making it happy for the moment.

And at the same time, we make sure that it will be unhappy in the long term. Once you've learned to wait for a reward, you can stay normal and “function” even under stress. But our children are less and less equipped to deal with stress - no matter how small. Even the smallest problems turn into huge obstacles for them that stand in the way of their success in life.

The inability to wait for a reward is often evident in classrooms, shopping malls, restaurants, and toy stores. The moment the child hears a “no”, they freak out because the parents have used their brains to always get what they want immediately.

 

2. LIMITED SOCIAL INTERACTION

We are all very busy most of the time. That is why we give our children digital devices to “keep them busy”. Children used to play outside, where they learned and practiced social skills in an unstructured, natural environment.

Unfortunately, technology has made children less likely to play outside and their parents less and less available for social interaction with them. It is obvious that our children are falling short ... The technical device that is supposed to keep them busy is not designed to help them develop social skills! Most successful people have very good social skills. That’s a priority!

The brain is like a muscle that can be trained and retrained. If you want your child to be able to ride a bike, teach them what it takes to do it. If you want your child to be able to wait for things, you need to teach them patience. If you want your child to make friends and fit in with a group, you are teaching them social skills. The same applies to all other competencies. There is no difference!

 

3. ENDLESS FUN

We have created an artificial world of fun for our children. There is never a dull moment. As soon as it gets quiet, we hurry to find some new entertainment for our children, otherwise we will feel that we are not doing our parental duty.

So it is that we live in two worlds. They have their “fun world” and we have our “work world”. Why don't the children help us in the kitchen or with the laundry? Why don't you clean up your toys again? These are monotonous, basic tasks that get the brain used to function normally despite being "bored". This is about the same “muscle” that is later needed to be able to learn in school and to be taught something.

When the children go to school and are asked to write something down, they reply, “I can't. That is too difficult. Too boring. ”Why? Because the “muscle” you need to do it isn't created through endless fun. He is trained through work.

 

4. TECHNOLOGY

Anyone who thinks that it costs nothing to use the technology as a “free babysitter” is mistaken. It doesn't take long to get the bill for it. We pay
namely with the nervous health of our children and with their ability to stay alert and wait for a reward.

Compared to virtual reality, everyday life is simply boring. When children enter a classroom, they encounter human voices and appropriate visual stimuli. This is in stark contrast to the bombardment of graphical elements and the explosive mix of special effects that you are used to from the screen. After hours of consuming this virtual reality, it becomes more and more difficult for our children to process information in class. This is because the brain has got used to the high levels of stimulation that video games generate. Since lower stimulation levels are no longer sufficient for the children at some point, they are helpless when faced with school challenges.

Technology also isolates us emotionally from our children and families. The child's brain is primarily dependent on that the parents are emotionally accessible for the child. This is the most important "nutrient". But unfortunately we are depriving our children of this “staple food” more and more.

 

5. CHILDREN RULE THE WORLD

“My son doesn't like vegetables.” “She just doesn't want to go to bed early.” “He doesn't like breakfast.” “She doesn't like toys. But she's great with her iPad. ”“ He doesn't want to get dressed alone. ”“ She's too lazy to eat on her own. ”I hear such sentences from parents all the time. Since when do the children have to determine how we should raise them? If we let them take control, they'll only eat macaroni with cheese and bagels with cream cheese, watch TV all the time, play around on their tablet and never go to bed.

Are we really doing them a favor by giving them what they WANT even though we know it is not GOOD for them? When our children do not get a balanced diet or good and adequate sleep, they are irritable, restless and inattentive at school. We are also giving them the wrong message. Because in this way they learn that they can do what they want and that they don't need to do anything that they don't like.

The concept that something “must” be done is completely absent. Unfortunately, if we want to achieve goals in life, we also have to do things that may not always be pleasant and that we don't like to do, but simply because they are necessary. A child who wants to get very good grades in school has to be hardworking and study. If he wants to become a successful soccer player, he has to practice every day. Our children know very well what they want. But they find it really difficult to do the things that are necessary to make their wishes come true. So it happens that their goals remain unattainable, which in turn disappoints and frustrates them.

 

TRAINES THE BRAIN

But you can make positive changes to your child's life by raising their brain in a way that enables them to function effectively on a social, emotional, and academic level. Proceed as follows:

1. Don't be afraid to set boundaries. Children need boundaries to be happy and healthygrowing up !!

  • Make a plan for meals, bedtime, and time to work with technological devices.
  • Think about what is GOOD for your children instead of what they WANT or DO NOT WANT. When they get older, they will thank you. Parenting is a difficult and hard task. You need to get creative in getting your children to do what is good for them. Because mostly it will be the opposite of what they want right now.
  • Children need a good breakfast and healthy food. It is important that they spend time outdoors and have regular bed times so that they can and want to study again the next day when they go to school.
  • Turns the things they don't like to do or don't like to try into fun,
    stimulating games.

 
2. Limits the use of technical devices. Instead, tie and reinforce thatemotional bond between you and your children!

  • Surprise them with flowers, smile at them, tickle them off, put a note with a loving greeting in their backpack or under the pillow! Surprise them on a school day and go out to eat with them, dance with them, crawl around with them, have a pillow fight!
  • Prepare and eat dinner together, organize a board game evening (you can find the list of my favorite games here!), Go cycling, go for a walk with the torch in the evening (or go on an outdoor night hike) etc.

3. Teach them that a reward doesn't have to be immediate.

  • Make them wait !!! It's okay to get bored from time to time, because that's the first step towards creativity.
  • Slowly but steadily increases the waiting time between "I want" and "I get".
  • Avoid using technology in cars and restaurants. Instead, teach your children to pass the waiting time by talking to them, such as playing a game.
  • Prevents constant snacking.

 
4. Raise your children from an early age to do monotonous tasks. That is the basisfor their future "fitness for work".

  • Fold the laundry with them, let them tidy up toys, hang up clothes, unpack the groceries with them, set the table with them, let them help prepare lunch, unpack their lunch boxes and make their beds.
  • Get creative. Make these things appealing and fun for your children at the beginning so that their brains associate them with something positive.

5. Teach them social skills.

  • Educate them to take turns with others, to share, to lose and to win with others, to compromise, to compliment others and to say “please” and “thank you”.

From my experience as an occupational therapist, I can say that children change the moment their parents change their perspective on the subject of "upbringing". Help your children succeed in life by exercising and strengthening their brains sooner rather than later!

 

Note from Jackie: Get my printable list of "30 Ways to Support Your Children"!

 

Victoria holds an MSc in Occupational Therapy from the University of Toronto Medical School and a BSc in Kinesiology and Health Science from York University.

She is the founder and director of a multidisciplinary clinic in Toronto, Canada for children with behavioral, learning disabilities, and social and emotional and difficulties. Together with her team, Victoria has helped hundreds of families in Canada and internationally. She frequently gives guest lectures to teachers, parents and professionals.

Published with the written permission of Victoria.

Translated by Anne Schweda for Deep Roots at Home.com.

“Our children (luckily) don't need perfect parents.But it is important for them that we are loyal and reliable.And God can take this faithfulness and, when the time comes, make something wonderful out of it. " ~ Jonathan Lewis

“So don't get tired of doing what's good.Don't get discouraged and never give upbecause in due time we will also reap the corresponding blessings. "
(Galatians 6: 9; New Life. The Bible)

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Translated by Anne Schweda for Deep Roots at Home.

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