How do I move out earlier?

"Hotel Mama": When young people move out of their parents' home

The typical nestling, as the educationalist Christiane Papastefanou has established, is: male, single, educated and provided with parents who can very well afford to accommodate their child into adulthood. Long training, unemployment or fixed-term employment contracts generally mean that young people in Germany often do not decide to move out until they are in their mid-twenties. And on average, young men leave home later than women. The latest figures also confirm this trend.

Inexpensive and comfortable: the "Hotel Mama"

Their own four walls - that is the great dream of many young people. However, your own apartment not only offers a lot of freedom, it also entails a lot of costs and work. For many young women and men, the so-called "Hotel Mama", that is, staying at home, is an alternative that they like to take advantage of. A refrigerator that is always full, laundry that is always fresh and a well-cleaned bathroom are advantages that many will not want to do without so quickly. If you then have tight finances, the move can be delayed further.

Young women move out earlier than men

The age at which young people leave home varies significantly across Europe. Only one thing is the same in all EU countries, as Eurostat and the Federal Statistical Office announced: in all countries women decide to move out earlier than their male peers. In 2007, a good two thirds (68 percent) of women aged 18 to 24 were still living with their parents, while it was as much as 80 percent for men of the same age.

Italian men have only moved out for over 30 years

Young people in Finland stood on their own two feet very early on. The majority of 18- to 24-year-olds had already looked for their own apartment there: only 24 percent of women in this age group and 41 percent of young men still lived with their parents. But Germany’s youth also attracts EU comparison early from home. 59 percent of women aged 18 to 24 and 73 percent of men still shared the household with their parents. On average, German women moved out at 23.9 years and men at 25.1 years. In Italy, Slovenia and Malta these numbers are much higher: 90 percent or even more of them continued to live with their parents. In Italy, for example, men only move out on average at 30.9 years of age, women at 29.5. In Spain and Greece, too, young women and men still live in their parents' home for a very long time.

Parents on the "siding"

But moving out of the parental home is not only a big change in life for the teenagers or young adults - also for the parents: The parents who were actually young at heart, who are wonderfully familiar with teenage issues and who always had the house full of people, are suddenly with themselves alone. The apartment is empty, the bulk packs from the supermarket are superfluous. You quickly feel old and unused. If this phase coincides with the start of retirement or if you live alone, then the term “siding” is not far away.

New content in life

It is not easy to get the new situation under control and to adjust to the fact that you suddenly have a lot more time for yourself and possibly also spend a lot more time with your partner alone. It is necessary to reorganize. To develop other structures and rituals and to distribute positions. Couples who have retained their hobbies over the past few years or who have always tried to spend time together without children usually find it easier to deal with the new situation.

How parents react when their children move out

The reactions to suddenly empty children's rooms are different, but on the whole can be divided into two broad groups. Some do not change anything and when they visit, years later the daughter or son still sleeps in bedclothes with the former rock idol, next to them the teddy bear. Other parents immediately begin to change everything externally. To set up a study or hobby room. And with it to make it clear to yourself that a new phase of life is beginning.

When the kids aren't kids anymore

It is difficult to realize that your own children will always be your own children, but that they have now taken their lives into their own hands. Constant advice and interference are no longer welcome. No matter how good you mean it: the choice of partner, the lifestyle or the upbringing of the grandchildren are up to the children. It is easier if the children are professionally and therefore economically completely independent and already have their own family. Both sides are then more likely to maintain the feeling of equality.